i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
