When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
