The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
