Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
