i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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