Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
