The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
