i was born a porn star she said
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
