nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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