I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
