Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
