Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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