i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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