I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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