no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
