I want you more than these girls want KFC
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
