So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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