we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
