You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
