haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
did you just send me my own nude
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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