i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
