the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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