yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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