That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
