the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
