Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
