That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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