I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
