like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
