Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
