Jerry, you need to find god
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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