idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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