I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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