I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
