it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
