it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
