Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
