on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just gift wrapped bread.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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