did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
