remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
