Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
