omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
