He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
