gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
