i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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