I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
