Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just found puke in my bra..
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
