after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
