I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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