come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
